While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
