if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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