I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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