Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
