Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
