he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just had sex on a roof
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
