Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
