I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
