She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
