My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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