I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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