I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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