yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
