it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love you. Go after that dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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