Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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