Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
