Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
