Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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