My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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