peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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