I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
