You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
