Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I will pee on everything he values.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
