We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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