I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
