if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize