she was so not down for the gang bang
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
