Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
