Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
