It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
