People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
