I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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