You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Say something about gay babies.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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