You're completely useless in the revolution.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
