How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't deserve a penis
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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