just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
