I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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