Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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