ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
