I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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