ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just googled if crying burns calories
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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