Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
