Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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