the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
