BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
