She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
