Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
