My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
