You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize