"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
