This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
