we have pet lesbian snakes
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
