Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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