I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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