Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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