Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
