walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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