apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
