they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
how does that bad decision feel?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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