Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
