my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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