Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
