At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize