high people should be assigned attendants
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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