I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
