it was like his penis was on wheels.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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