remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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