Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
