porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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