i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
