i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
