bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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