I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
