The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
