Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
