is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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